T-SQL Tuesday #99 : Dealer’s Choice – Being a Voice for a Foster Child in Court

T-SQL Tuesday

This month Aaron Bertrand (b | t) has given us a Dealer’s Choice on the T-SQL Tuesday topic. I’m of course going to take the chance to talk about something I’m passionate about.  It’s not something people would consider fun but it’s what I enjoy spending my spare time on. Warning this may get personal. Aaron sorry for the lack of pictures but because of confidentiality I can’t actually post any pictures of the foster kids I have worked with and am currently working with.

Anybody that has talked to me, read my blog, or been to one of my sessions knows this is my passion outside of SQL and my favorite job. It’s great to have a chance to evangelize on the T-SQL Tuesday platform. My favorite job involves being a voice for a foster child in the court known as a Guardian ad Litem in the state of North Carolina. This is a program in the United States, that stems from the program called CASA. This is partly how I earned part of my Superhero title, that and heroic efforts in recovering the corrupt database on top of a mountain while on vacation and taking on-call rotations. Seriously, one of my coworkers has bought a cape and mask for my chair long before I got the title and one of the volunteers in my county keeps tell me that the country needs their superhero back since I moved away two years ago even though I still volunteer there. And while I’m no superhero I can make a difference in the world and this is how I make that difference one child at a time.

The Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is a trained community volunteer appointed by a district court judge to investigate and determine the needs of abused and neglected children who are petitioned into the court system by the Department of Social Services. The Guardian ad Litem makes independent recommendations to the court for services, which focus on the needs of the child and advocates for a permanent and safe home for every child within the shortest time possible.

The activities of a Guardian ad Litem are as follows:

  • Visits child and keeps the child informed about court proceedings.
  • Communicates with Attorney Advocate to develop legal strategies to further the best interests of the child client.
  • Gathers and assesses independent information on a consistent basis about the child to recommend a resolution that is in the child’s best interest.
  • Interviews parents, guardians, caretakers, social workers and other service providers and reads records related to the family.
  • Seeks cooperative solutions with other participants in the child’s case.
  • Writes fact-based, child-focused reports for court hearings.
  • Attends and participates in court hearings and other related meetings to advocate for a permanent plan, which serves the child’s best interest.
  • Testifies, if needed, to inform the court of changes in the child’s situation.
  • Ensures the court knows the child’s wishes.
  • Keeps all records and information confidential.
  • Monitors court-ordered services and keeps the court informed about needs of the child.
  • Consults with local program staff for support and guidance.

Wow, that looks like a lot, but it only takes about 10 hours a month for one case. But I’m a superhero, and I carry between three to five cases at a time. Now comes the personal part, which I won’t get too personal, but I get a lot of questions about how can you do this? Isn’t hard seeing stuff like this? Or the best ever was why the h*** would want to do something like that for (well shall leave out what idiot said that)? Well I grew up like these kids grew up, I’ve yet to meet a kid that I haven’t been through what they haven’t been through. I grew up in a very abusive, neglectful home where lots of bad things happened. I never made it into foster care. Instead I moved out at the age of 16 and made my way through the world then I reached a point in my life at the age of 25 where I started believing in God, and it says that everything bad is supposed to work out for good. “and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:23 So in my mind, I had to use all the bad things that happen to me as a kid for good, and it gave it reason has to why it happened. That doesn’t mean that this isn’t hard for me, I still have a grieving process I go through every time I get a new case where I live through what that kid has been through which takes me about two weeks.  But it’s worth it and gives me the ability to empathize with the children I represent. So I’ve volunteered for almost 15 years (a bit longer than I’ve been a DBA), I helped nearly 50 children find permanency in there lives rather that meant going back home to their parents because their parents had received help, going to stay with relatives, or being adopted.

Over the years a few articles have been written about my work with Guardian ad Litem program:

There is nothing more fun than getting to play with a kid and watch them grow into themselves and overcome their circumstances. I enjoy playing on the playgrounds with the smaller kids, having a baby fall asleep in my arms, and watching one of my teens play a basketball game. Coloring in coloring books, reading books, playing board games, and video games are other things I spend time with my kids trying to get to know them better.

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and every year in North Carolina it is also Guardian ad Litem appreciation month. Last year we planted pinwheels at the courthouse in the county and lit up the courthouse blue in honor of the children we represent. Here is a picture of planting one of nine pinwheels for the children I had represented in the prior year. To me, it surprising how few people took part in the event this year with there were150 abuse children in our county. According to the Prevent Child Abuse America website pinwheels are used to symbolize the end of child abuse because “By its very nature, the pinwheel connotes whimsy and childlike notions. In essence, it has come to serve as the physical embodiment, or reminder, of the great childhoods we want for all children.” I encourage everyone to pay attention to the dangers facing children these days that you may not have experienced as a child and come together as a community to say it will not be the norm to ignore it anymore. Stand up and speak out if you see something. In April, look out for the opportunity to acknowledge that child abuse and neglect are happening in your communities and it will no longer be tolerated.

Just remember it is not the child’s fault they are in foster care, and they would use someone anyone to walk with them through the court process and be on their side and make sure their voice is heard. This is a very challenging, rewarding experience to a be a part of, and I hope this post gets a list one person interested in volunteering for the program. I know it sounds like a lot, but they do train you what you need to know and have office staff to help guide you along if needed. So if anybody is interested in volunteering 10 hours a month and would like to talk more about what it takes, please email me. If you look into on your own, let me know so I know at least I influenced one person into considering doing it.

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4 thoughts on “T-SQL Tuesday #99 : Dealer’s Choice – Being a Voice for a Foster Child in Court

  1. Your story inspired both my wife and I to seek out the local organization. We are going to do what we can to help. Thank you for who you are and what you do. You inspired us with your story!

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